What have I done that I deserve so much grace?
I have been having a very stressful couple of days, and when I am stressed and don’t have enough sleep…I can get pretty crabby and mean at times. My friends put up with me through this all. Certain friends have seen me get to my breaking point and lose my cool right there in front of them. Most of them are revolving around doing something for school…writing a paper, doing a project or studying for an exam. As has been the case for the last few days. One of my closest friends here has been one of the people who unfortunatley has been taking a big part of my stress over the past few days, as I have been hers. But none the less, I have been shown an extreme amount of grace by her, she has not once told me to leave…or that she is tired of me. She has always been there when I fall apart, and she doesn’t walk away when things aren’t so pretty.
This whole thing has been making me think alot about how much grace I have been shown by God. In the 19 years that I have been on this earth, I have made more mistakes and failures at reaching who God wants me to be than I could count. And yet I have still been forgiven over and over, and I have been given chance after chance.
Growing up going to church I thought I had a really good handle on what this idea of grace meant, I thought I understood what was meant when someone said that God had unsurpassable grace and love. I always just sort of excepted that as true, and believed it just because that’s what I’ve been told all my life. But I never really had any understanding of what it actually means and how it is in my life, how it affects my life, until now.
God has been showing me alot lately, mostly through situations where I am feeling at my weakest and most vulnerable. Everyone has been telling me that when we make ourselves vulnerable to God he responds to us, and comes along side us. I am beginning to see more of and believe that He is here with me as I’m walking down this road where I can’t see what’s in front of me.
The journey continues…