Monthly Archives: October 2010

words of encouragement

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“Every moment is a second chance
At starting over, at starting over
Move from the past to the present tense
You can start over, start over again
Yesterday is gone
Today is all you’ve got
You don’t have to be who you’ve been
You can change within
It’s never too late
To start over again”

         ~ Addison Road, Start Over Again

 

Come and take my life.
Make my soul refreshed in truth now.

I am ready for You.
Take my heart and make me new now.
I am ready for You
to come and fill my soul.

Cleanse all of my mind that is not of You.
Break me, teaching me how to find rest in Your hands.
~ Kutless, Ready for You

 

When you take that first step into the unknown
You know that He won’t let you go

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities, they try to hold to you
But you know you’re made for more, so don’t be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too

So get out, and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don’t wait, and don’t you turn around and miss out
Everything you were made for, I know you’re not sure
So you play it safe, you try to run away

~ Britt Nicole, Walk on the Water

 

There’s a little flame inside a soul
Some shine bright
Some shine small
The rains will come
And the waters rise
But don’t you ever lose your light

In this life you will know
Love and pain
Joy and sorrow
So when it hurts
When times get hard
Don’t forget whos child you are

This little light of mine
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I’m Gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

~ Addison Road, This Little Light of Mine

 

There’s a better version of me
That I can’t quite see
But things are gonna change
Right now I’m a total mess and
Right now I’m completely incomplete
But things are gonna change
‘Cause you’re not through with me yet

This is a redemption’s story
With every step that I’m taking
Every day, you’re chipping away
What I don’t need
This is me under construction
This is my pride being broken
And every day I’m closer to who I’m meant to be
I’m a change in the making

Wish I could live more patiently
Wish I could give a little more of me
Without stopiing to think twice
Wish I had faith like a little child
Wish I could walk a single mile
Without tripping on my own feet

~ Addison Road, Change in the Making

 

These are just various parts of songs that I have been listening to over this past week. They have been moments of encouragement and strength for me to keep going just when I’m about to throw my hands up.

Last night me and one of my new friends, Shelby went to the Addison Road, Tenth Avenue North, and Matt Maher concert. It was AWESOME! probably the best concert I’ve ever been to! It was soo much fun, getting to hang out with Shelby and both of us being really happy for one of the first times since we’ve been here. But it was also refreshing and comforting because what I was hearing was all about God and how these people singing it, these were issues or situations that they had dealt with too…I’m not the only one.

The walls all around my desk are covered in quotes, scriptures and song lyrics that have been encouraging me over the past few weeks.

“Are you worrying? Why aren’t you praying? What do you need? God wants to know, and don’t forget what he has already done fo ryou, even the small things. God cares so much that He gives you His peace, even though we can’t fully understand it. As you walk with Christ, you will be protected by Him.”

~our version of Philippians 4:6-7 🙂

 

xoxo sarah

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What am I doing here?

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So I have recently stumbled upon the idea of a change in major and possibly career path. To this point I have wanted to be an Occupational Therapist for children with special needs. But now this is being called into question…and I don’t know what the answer is.

Reasons:

  • OT grad school: a 3-part rotation between pediatrics, jeriatrics and mental health. I know that I don’t want to work 2 of these areas(and if you know me you can guess which ones). So I don’t see the point in having to do the rotation. I get it if you are unsure…but if there is no space for change in your plan…then what’s the point????
  • The coarsework for this major is SCIENCE based….I am not good at science! When I was considering this career, people were telling me just that….science based…but I figured things would work out. What people have told me, and what I have observed point me to OT; so why is it so hard to get there?!?!?!

“Occupational therapists help patients improve their ability to perform tasks in living and working environments. They work with individuals who suffer from a mentally, physically, developmentally, or emotionally disabling condition. Occupational therapists use treatments to develop, recover, or maintain the daily living and work skills of their patients. The therapist helps clients not only to improve their basic motor functions and reasoning abilities, but also to compensate for permanent loss of function. The goal is to help clients have independent, productive, and satisfying lives.”

This is what I want to be doing, why is it so hard to get to a place where I can make this happen…God, is this not where you want me?? Are you trying to tell me something?

****** “In schools, for example, they evaluate children’s capabilities, recommend and provide therapy, modify classroom equipment, and help children participate in school activities. A therapist may work with children individually, lead small groups in the classroom, consult with a teacher, or serve on an administrative committee. Some therapists provide early intervention therapy to infants and toddlers who have, or are at risk of having, developmental delays…”

I talked with a friend of mine tonight who is a senior in the exercise science major and  trying to get into Pacific University’s OT Grad School. From this conversation as well as previous, she has a pretty good idea of what I want to be doing as a career, it’s the same as her. The answer is seeming to be OT….here’s my dilemma. How do I get to where I want to be without all the unnecessary middle stuff…is there a way? or is there a way that I can do what I want to do but it be considered something different??? there are soo many questions and I don’t know what I am going to do.

One of the whole reasons that I chose this school was because of it’s OT Grad school…not the smartest decision of my life…I know…but I did none the less. And now that may have been a pointless aspect of it????

This is going to be a journey…

xoxo sarah

Blessings in disguise

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So for those of you who do not know…this week has been a whirlind of trials, exams and emotion.

9:00 AM Tuesday, August 28, 2010: I began my new job of working with high school students with special needs. I did not know what to expect going into this day…and was quickly thrown into the mix of craziness at Apartment C. I spent the day in confusion, I did not know anything about the girls that I was dealing with…and honestly, the supervisors knew nothing about me. I left after 2.5 hours of being there, and honestly…didn’t want to go back. I had this extreme feeling inside of me that I still cannot identify what it was to this moment. I had to put aside whatever it was and move on because job #2 was awaiting me. But this job I love 🙂 After HC, I came back to my room and well…let’s just say we’re not talking about it. So we’re going to cut out all the emotional turmoil of it, and skip to that night. I had a much needed venting session/conversation with one of my new friends from Refuge 🙂 …I unloaded my day on her, and she graciously offered me a fresh, unbiased perspective on what I should do….and just like everyone else, she told me that I should try and go back and see if it was just a first day nervousness. We talked about alot, but God seemed to be the focus/backdrop of every topic.

The next day when I was trying to decide what I was going to do about the job, trying to do what God wanted me to do instead of what I wanted…I heard “Ready for You” by Kutless, and that was my answer

“I am ready for You.
Take my heart and make me new now.
I am ready for You
to come and fill my soul.
To come and fill my soul.

Whatever it takes,
I’m needing to make Your will be done
and I’m letting go of my control,
for I see what You’ve done in me.”

…I was scared, out of my mind. But I knew that God would be there with me to get through it and there is a reason that He wants me at this job, even though I have not figured out what it is yet.

I went to work yesterday, it was so much better! Among the differences at the actual work place, there was a difference in me. I knew the Lord was there with me…something that I hadn’t been sure of or felt since I had been here. I have a new peace, I go through the day to day things asking God to be with me…something I was never really good at before. Things like my exams, work, friends…this place, Forest Grove, is full of new beginnings and experiences that will shape me and change me. Although there will be situations that I do not think I will be able to get through, and some that I don’t understand what the point is…I will take them with God by my side.

Thank you for all of you who have been so supportive of me along this long journey.

xoxo sarah