Day 5: Reason, it’s there when we are just too blind to see it.

“There are reasons that we are where we are, and who we are and they aren’t random.” Crazy Love, Francis Chan

When I read through our chapter for this weekends meeting I found myself wrestling with much of what Chan was saying to me, because I knew that what I saw on the paper…where I wanted my heart to be and where it actually is…did not match.

But this line specifically, has stayed with me over the past few days…in part because I wrote it down in my journal. This is something that I struggle with getting through my thick head sometimes. But this describes what I want to believe in the deepest part of my heart! I want to hear this and be comforted by it and not question god and why he is letting a specific circumstance occur.

This challenge is rooted in trust.

Do I trust that God has a plan in this?

Do I trust that he will be there holding my hand all the way through?

The idea that God made me EXACTLY how he wants me to be is unfathomable to me. That no matter what I see in the mirror, what poeple say, what people do…God loves ME. Just as I am. This doesn’t meant hat i stop trying to make myself a better person, or that I completely neglect my body…there is one thing that it comes down to: intention. Am I trying to be a more serving person because I want people to recognize and praise me? Am I eating better and excercising more because I want that guy to look at me?

Instead of my intentions stemming from my want to be praised by people, I should be asking God what he is doing through it? How will it show his love, grace, compassion?

One of the most important parts of this for me has been understanding that I am where I am right now. I’m here, in this place, in this body, in my circumstances for a reason…they aren’t random. When I have thought about this in the past it has always made me sort of frustrated because I can’t help but ask God, “why would you do this to me? why would you let me feel that pain?” God doesn’t allow us to experience these things because he wants to see us suffer, but because without it we don’t realize just how much we need him. If things are always perfect in our lives and there is never any bumps along the rode, then we think we can do it all on our own and we don’t need anyones help.

Well, that’s it for today. See you tomorrow 🙂

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