This has seem to become a tradition that happens whenever I am waiting in one of these terminals.
step in and out
between my two lives
from one to the next
not knowing what’s coming
I pray for good days
I long to bring
to that home
what I have
in this home
This has been a semester like no other, I can’t believe I’ve made it through…and now it’s time to take a break and go back to where I’m from. There’s a knot in the pit of my stomach, I can’t tell why. Anxiety? Excitement? Lack of food? All of the above? None of the above? I have no idea. I’m awaiting the crazy little red head boy who is going to tackle me when I get home…but I am already missing the crazy girls I call my sisters, the kids who I love to joke around with, and everyone else who makes this home for me.
Peace out Forest Grove, are you ready San Mateo??
We confess our wrongs
and pray for forgiveness.
Knowing that you are our loving Father.
You take them away,
as far as the east is from the west.
You pull us out of the muck,
the pit of life,
You hold us and carry us,
like a parent carries a child.
We are your children.
Despite the countless times and ways
we turn away from you,
you are always there with open arms.
Ready to take us in,
love us, teach us
and watch us grow.
“God went back and got the shaking little girl that was hidng under the bed and convinced her to come out. He unclenched her little fists and took her hand and place it in his and answered her question. He held her and told her it was OK for her not to be tough. He would protect her. She didn’t have to be strong. He told her she wasn’t a rock but a child. An innocent child. His child. He didn’t condemn her for anything but instead understood her and loved her! He told her she was special…like no other and that she had special gifts like no other. She knew his voice and trusted him. She could hear the pleasure He had for her in His voice and felt His delight in her as He talked. He was so gentle and loving she couldn’t help but melt in His arms.”
~ Captivating, page 104
Do you ever have one of those nights where you just want to write…to get out all the emotion that is inside of you, but have no idea how to do it…what words to use. (Not even sure if anyone actually reads this, I think it is more for me…) I am there right now. I could sit and talk with my friends about life, family, God, school…whatever…for hours, I only wish that there weren’t things like jobs, sleep and life that had to get in the way of those relationship growing conversations! 🙂 I wish that I could just spill everything that is on my mind right now into this post, but I won’t…
Being home for the summer, this was honestly one of the things that I missed the most about my friends in FG…I miss the conversations, the openness, the reality that we shared with eachother. But here and there I have had the chance to engage in some time with people and talk about the things that really matter, the things that are really on my heart…and their hearts. Something that I am learning to be more okay with as I’m growing, is silence. My first instinct when I’m in the middle of silence is to run, I get fidgety (even more than usual) and I just feel like I need to say something to fill that silence. But I have been learning that silence is ok, and sometimes sitting in silence with someone can speak more to what they are dealing with, than hours of words. Eye contact, holding hands, smiles…these are the things that make me love these conversations and these simple gestures show that they care, that I care.
I’m not reallly sure why I’m writing this…it’s therapeutic. I am continually reminding myself that God works through and encourages when we are vulnerable and have open spaces in our life.